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Confessions of a Late Bloomer

December 31, 2002

11:14 pm

Love. I yearn for it so yet I know so little about it.

The majestic tide of romantic love. I have never been swept by its crests, never been borne by its waves. I have just watched ‘Moulin Rouge’. I feel the ache of longing so sharply in my chest I do not know how to let it go.

Will it ever happen to me? Will someone love me so much that I will mean the world to her? That my love will be enough?

As soon as I wrote that I know my love will never be enough. Somehow a love higher than my own, more infinite than the endlessness of my love, should bind us together in the meaninglessness of the world. In that all encompassing love the meaningless world is given meaning. In a world of despair, love is a shining light of hope that pierces through the darkest of nights to divide nothingness into life.

Which is why this is my prayer: that the Infinite bless me with love, so that through me, His love can forcefully be channeled to some One. And that we, she and I, be swept away by the deluge of overpowering meaning, of irresistible love.

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